i never thought i'd be saying this but its gotten to a point where i'm actually questioning if my feelings are as strong as i perceived them to be.
it's like i'm so used to the distance that i don't even miss him like i should/used to anymore. it goes to only an extent and i get over it. i know this is going to sounds really bad but i actually question whether i am in a relationship at times or whether its just an internet fling really.
i mean i see other guys who are my friends way more than i see my own boyfriend and why him? why did i choose him over the other ones who clearly want to spend every minute they have being around me? what is it about him that i chose over someone else?
for a while now i haven't been able to answer this.
he gets into his little moods where he won't talk to me and blame me for the way he's feeling, while i've done nothing.
i think friendship is more of what we've become/always have been and i'd tell him but he needs to realise on his own accord, there's no use me placing my thoughts on him, they'll just go unnoticed.
i hate questioning things but i guess its gotten to a point where i am and have been for a while.
i hope something changes and soon.
but the truth is as much as i can say this, deep down i know i just miss him like hell.
i can't stand being away from him. he means too much to me.
he's everything thats good in my life and i want him around me always.
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