amour

Yesterday night i came to a realisation. I think i've pretty much been building up on this for the past few weeks but i kinda just pushed it out of my mind. I kept telling myself it was too soon and there's no possible way that i could be.

But it's like this little voice in my head has all of a sudden just gotten so loud that I can't focus on anything besides it, it's driving me insane.

Yes, i've fallen for someone. *frustrated sigh*

Now comes the worst part, how do i say those words?

I've never told anyone this before, let alone felt this way about anyone. And i'll admit it kinda caught me off guard considering I didn't really expect this to happen, but it has.

I like being the one in control especially when it comes to my own heart and now it's like i've lost control over it, which to me seems like an easy way to get it broken.

what am i supposed to do if he doesn't feel the same? which is also probably why i'm just gonna hold back and not give anything away for a while.

He's probably the person i should be the most cautious around just giving the circumstances of his career and everything, and yet he made it so easy for me to feel this way.

oh great, this will be fun when i choose to tell him. i hate talking about feelings.

I'm such a hypocrite i swear, so the person who hates love has fallen in love.

"I try too hard to find the words to tell you what you are to me; sometimes I would prefer a more efficient means of communication. If I could spell things out across your skin with just my fingertips, or whisper all my secrets against your lips without a sound -- if you could drink the thoughts straight from my mind, and taste them, sweet and bitter and all things in-between, going down your throat. Any of these things might end up preferable to me, fumbling around inside my head for words big enough to contain vast spaces (and always, always failing)."

currently listening: moon theory - miami horror