No more stuttering, shaking knees, butterflies during speeches which I really couldn't care less about, no more boring topics about how change and everything we do affects the world, like we haven't figured that out ourselves during our 17/18 years of life.
I'm relieved, I can see the end drawing closer every minute of the day, but part of me... a large part of me is scared. The daunting questions i've dodged all year are finally catching up with me and sooner or later I'm going to have to face it straight on: "what are you going to do when you leave school?"
I don't like to think about it, but i'm quickly being forced to.
I don't like change, it usually mean something that you didn't want to happen, has happened.
Funny, how we've spent our last few months counting down the days until graduation, but now i'm questioning... I am going to miss recess, lunch and hanging with the girls. I'm going to miss being able to sit in class and slyly not have to do anything if i'm tired or don't feel up to it. I'm going to miss the year 12 corridor and everyone screaming, singing at the top of their lungs.
It's all gone by so fast, I still remember the last day of last year where we were all decked out in christmas tinsel and singing christmas carols.
I'm scared, I really am.
What am I gonna do next year? I want to go to uni maybe, and yet i don't know.
I've wanted to be so many things that it's unbelievable. Why can't I be someone who makes up their mind and doesn't change it every two seconds of the day, why do i find choices so hard to make?
I just want a job where I will be happy and wake up everyday wanting to go to work, not wanting to chuck a sickie.
Putting it simply... i just want to be happy. If i'm content then nothing else will matter.
I wish I could seek a psychic and find out what my future holds, it would make it a lot easier.
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